Where My Heart Breaks Page 9

  Seeming to sense that I was calmer, Reed released me and stepped away. I keenly felt the loss of his strong arms around me.

  “I won’t deny there’s an attraction there, but we can control that. I’m not asking you to forget what happened, just recognize it for what it was.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “A momentary lapse in judgment,” Reed said.

  That stung. “Usually I at least get a few drinks out of the deal when I have one of those,” I said sullenly. I crossed my arms creating a barrier between the two of us. It seemed that no matter what I said or thought, Reed was going to insist that we stay firmly in the ‘friends’ zone. If I had more friend options in Bleckerville, there was a good chance that I would have told him to go to hell. But my summer looked like a bleak, desolate wasteland in my mind once I removed him from the picture. That was worse than his rejection of me. Barely.

  “I just want to be your friend,” Reed said. “Is there anything wrong with that?”

  The list was too long to go into, starting with the distinct pulsating wave of desire for him that I felt welling inside of me. “Fine. We’re friends.”

  “I’d like to take you out to Grossler’s Point when you finish the book. It’s the place where the big finale takes place,” Reed said.

  I could tell he was trying to get me to cheer up. I could think of so many better ways for him to do that, but those were now strictly reserved for my imagination and my dreams. “I’ll see what I can do. Patrice has a pretty long list of things for me to get trained up on.”

  “You’re a natural. You’ll pick it up in no time,” he said.

  My body felt drained as if I had been working outdoors doing hard labor all day. The emotional roller coaster of dealing with Reed took it all out of me. “I should get back.”

  “Do you want me to follow you home?”

  Reed was a gentleman to the end, making the entire evening the most confusing non-date of my life. “I’m a big girl, Reed. I’ll be fine.”

  He offered up a small wave as I got into the car and pulled away. I glanced back in my rearview mirror once. He stood there in the parking lot watching me drive away. I sighed. It was going to be a long summer.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Now I had a new reason to throw myself into my work. Whenever I allowed my mind to drift, those few stolen minutes in the old town hall filled my every waking thought. I tried to play it off. So Reed was mouthwateringly hot. So what? I’d been with good looking guys before. Trevor may not have been a prize, but he had been easy on the eyes.

  But the nagging voice in the back of my head reminded me that by giving me a tiny preview into the whole package that was Reed Black, every kiss, every touch, every melting ounce of desire packed into those moments carried an entirely different weight in my mind. Beneath the handsome veneer, it was clear he had been scarred deeply by someone. That was the only explanation for why he was so insistent on distancing himself from anything resembling a relationship. Friendship seemed to be a safe zone for him, but it didn’t take a therapist to see that Reed’s unconscious need for a connection was surfacing. If I were more brazen and brave, I’d launch an effort to make him let me in.

  It was a stupid idea even if I considered it for more than thirty seconds. Reed’s walls had been in place for awhile, and I would only be in Bleckerville for three months. If somehow I succeeded in breaking in, where did that leave me? Where did that leave Reed? The answer made me frustrated and angry because I knew the answer. It meant that we were left in a place that could only end in heartbreak.

  It was the same argument that rolled around and around in my mind. That, and the fact that it had not escaped my notice that it had been three days since the incident at the town hall, and I hadn’t heard a peep from Reed, friendly or otherwise. I was too embarrassed to text or call him first. It was bad enough that I threw myself at him despite his numerous attempts to tell me that he only wanted to be friends. Going over what happened again and again in my mind just solidified for me that I was the one who crossed the line. I was the one that didn’t listen to what Reed told me he wanted. It wasn’t too hard to figure out why Reed hadn’t called. He probably thought that I’d try to molest him again given the chance.

  As I attempted to scrub a red wine stain out of one of the dining room’s white linen tablecloths, I took the opportunity to take my frustrations about Reed out on the fabric.

  “I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Patrice has a million of them because stuff like that happens all the time. Guests have a tendency to get clumsy with their drinks as the nights wear on.” Sam appeared in the doorway of the laundry room. I’d barely spoken to him since the night that he brought me home from Lula’s, despite his not so obvious attempts to draw me into conversation every time we crossed paths. I didn’t want to admit that I had been avoiding him the last few days.

  “I can’t have Patrice thinking that I’m not giving this job my all,” I said heatedly. “Besides, each one of these costs five dollars and fifty cents wholesale. I get this stain out, I’m saving Patrice money.”

  Why couldn’t it be Reed chasing me around like a lost puppy? Of course, it was obvious that wasn’t Reed’s style. He wasn’t the type of guy who needed to do any chasing.

  “I overheard her talking to somebody on the phone a little while ago. I don’t know who it was, but I heard her say that you were doing a good job. I don’t think you need to worry so much about impressing her.”

  I stopped scrubbing and looked at Sam trying to sense if he was lying. His open face showed no signs of deception. He leaned against the doorframe and watched me with noticeable appreciation in his eyes. I noticed then that he was dressed in black dress slacks and a black button down shirt with the cuffs rolled up. With his tanned skin and blond hair, he actually looked pretty handsome.

  “Thanks,” I said. “You look different.”

  He looked down at his clothes sheepishly. “Patrice’s dress code for the catering events.”

  I groaned. “Crap. I forgot all about that.”

  It was Saturday night and time for the first event at the Willoughby since my arrival. Patrice said that catered, intimate cocktail parties made up a solid twenty-five percent of her revenue during the summer tourist months. An extra bonus was that guests from the parties filled up the rooms that weren’t booked by the honeymooners. Within the next hour, the Willoughby would be bursting at the seams with people, quite the change from the quiet solitude that I had come to expect there.

  “Patrice has your uniform in her office. That’s why I’m here. I was supposed to come and get you, so you have time to get ready.”

  I threw the tablecloth in the sudsy tub and hoped that soaking the stain overnight might get it to come out. My hands were shriveled, and I could just imagine what I looked like after cleaning all day. Self-consciously I ran my hand through my hair. “Thanks. I need to get going then.”

  As I passed him, Sam put out his hand and caught my elbow stopping me. He looked nervous. “So I’m meeting a couple of my friends out at Lula’s later. I know you’ve been working like a dog since you got here. Would you want to come out for a couple beers? There’s a band playing tonight.” His words came out in a rush.

  I was ready to turn him down. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. But, on the other hand, I was dying for a release. After the week of work and dealing with trying to wrap my brain around what happened with Reed, a night out of dancing and fun sounded amazing. “I’d like that.”

  Sam’s face lit up. “Great! Don’t worry. The people who come to these parties always clear out by ten or eleven at the latest. We shouldn’t have any problem making it to Lula’s in time for the band’s second set.”

  I would deal with Sam’s intentions toward me later if it came up, but I needed to stop being such a worrywart. From what everyone said, Sam was a nice, stand-up guy. It definitely wouldn’t hurt me to be around that kind of influence. I waved to Sam and headed toward Patrice
’s office. It would be so much easier if I were attracted to Sam. I welcomed the idea of having one night without Reed Black front and center in my mind. For the moment, Sam was an acceptable distraction.

  Five hours later, my feet were killing me, and I had monster headache from the permanent smile stretched across my face. The cocktail reception had been a celebration for one of the lawyers in nearby Cheshire making partner in his law firm. Being around the smartly dressed people and listening to their witty conversation made me feel even more awkward in my muted black skirt and button down shirt.

  It amazed me how many cocktails and hor d’oeuvres were consumed over the course of the evening. Although I hadn’t met the bartender, Marlene before, I knew who she was from reviewing the Willoughby’s personnel files. By day, she was an administrative assistant for an insurance agent in Bleckerville, but she made extra cash bartending for both Lula and Patrice. Marlene was in her late thirties, and Sam whispered to me at one point that she was recently divorced. With four kids at home, Marlene needed every penny she could get.

  After the last taillights trailed off down the driveway, I fell against the island in the kitchen and looked around the room in dismay. There were trays, plates, pots and pans everywhere. Sam, who despite how busy we were somehow managed to drop hints about how much fun we were going to have at Lula’s, saw my face and then laughed.

  “Don’t worry. The catering crew went to pull their trucks around. They’ll clean this up. Marlene will take care of the bar. We’re off the hook.”

  “Shouldn’t I stay to supervise?” There were two parts of me warring for what to do next. My body wanted me to stay. My mind wanted me to go.

  “I heard Patrice barking orders in the back. She’s got it covered. Trust me,” Sam said with a wink. “But we probably should make our escape before she finds something else for us to do.”

  “I need to change,” I said lamely.

  Sam looked at his watch. “I’ll give you ten minutes. Meet me around the other side of the garage. Go out the front door so you avoid Patrice in the back. Trust me. This is just what you need.”

  His smile convinced me. He was right. I did need it. Plus I appreciated his semi-devious plotting to escape Patrice’s notice. Maybe Sam wasn’t so bad. “Ten minutes,” I said. Then I scurried out of the door because I heard Patrice’s voice approaching the screen door of the kitchen that led out to the driveway.

  How I managed to put myself together in the next ten minutes was nothing short of a miracle. I paired a coral silk sleeveless top with fitted dark jeans. Nude flats completed the look. I thought about loosening the bun at the nape of my neck and letting my hair down, but at the last minute decided to leave it. It wasn’t a real date. If things kept up at this rate, my summer was going to be filled with a plethora of non-dates.

  “I’ve been going on a few too many of those,” I said to my reflection with a sigh.

  I went for lip gloss over lipstick and then decided I was presentable. There was little I could do about the bags beneath my eyes. As I moved through my room through the door, the reason for my restless nights called out to me from my nightstand.

  I only had two chapters left in Where My Heart Breaks, and had been planning to finish it tonight. I couldn’t help but think about Reed’s offer to take me to Grossler’s Point when I finished the book. I was on a deadline. In the book, Jackson and Camilla were preparing to meet each other on the rocky point, under the premise that they would run away together and start over. But there were warning signs all over that something bad was about to happen.

  It could wait. I didn’t need any more depressing ideas in my head at the moment. Jackson and Camilla could wait. It was time to party.

  Following Sam’s suggestion, I made my way quickly down the staircase to the front foyer. I heard low voices murmuring from the room that Patrice converted into a parlor lounge. With all the rooms booked, it would be difficult not to stumble over a guest, but I was definitely going to try.

  I tiptoed past the parlor and out the front door. I could see movement down near the water and I stuck to the shadows as I snuck around the side of the mansion. The kitchen was on the far end of the circular driveway, and I saw Sam’s Ford Taurus sitting in front of me with its lights off.

  I giggled as I dashed down the rest of the sidewalk to his car. I was twenty-one years old acting like a sixteen year old sneaking out of the house. It was a silly, frivolous feeling, but it was an emotion sadly lacking in my life at the moment. Fun. I slid into the front seat.

  “Go!” I said in a dramatic whisper.

  Sam grinned and threw the car into reverse. He didn’t turn on the lights until we were safely away from the Willoughby. “I wasn’t sure you were going to come,” he said.

  Now that I was certain my evening of fun was free from Patrice’s interference, I glanced over at my companion in crime. At some point while I was running around like a crazy person in my room, Sam managed to change as well. He wore a burgundy shirt with denim jeans and I couldn’t help but notice his sinewy muscles flex as he expertly turned the car onto the highway. His hair looked slightly damp, and he had a five o’clock shadow dusting his jaw. Sam looked different. Edgier. I was certain I had seen him somewhere before, but I still couldn’t place him.

  I glanced away and back out the windshield. Clearly I was fatigued, and the book was putting incriminating ideas in my head. Now that Reed had rejected me, I was subconsciously looking for the next best alternative. Thus, Sam’s tall, lanky frame now appeared attractive, especially when coupled with his interest in me.

  Yes, it was confirmed. I needed a drink.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I had to admit that, during the short drive into town, Sam proved to be pleasant company. He told me that we were going to be meeting up with his high school buddies, Leon and Peter, and Peter’s wife, Casey. Casey grew up in Cheshire, but met Peter after one of the schools’ rivalry football games and had been married for almost two years. Leon worked on his family’s farm outside of Bleckerville and was Sam’s new roommate. Everyone still lived in Bleckerville except for Sam, who lived on campus at the UNC Charlotte during the school year.

  With the short biographies of each individual, I felt confident that I’d be able to at least follow the train of some of their conversations and be able to pull out a question or two if the discussion began to lag. But listening to Sam’s constant chatter, it occurred to me that it probably wouldn’t be necessary.

  I smiled at him and nodded to keep him going because as long as Sam was talking, I didn’t have to talk at all. When Sam tripped over his next sentence, I realized that he was babbling because he was nervous. Which in a way was kind of endearing.

  “I’m sorry, I’m completely monopolizing the conversation,” he said.

  “I’m a fantastic listener,” I said. “I’m glad you talked me into this. I feel like my social life has cobwebs growing all over it.”

  A half-grin crossed Sam’s face. “There’s only so much to do in this town. If I didn’t have my friends to hang out with, I’d probably go crazy. It’s a lot different than living in the city. I can’t imagine moving here and not knowing anybody.”

  I knew somebody pretty well after our interlude in the town hall, but I wasn’t going to volunteer that information. “I appreciate you lending your friends to me for the evening.”

  “Anytime,” Sam replied.

  The casual banter with Sam didn’t carry any heavy undertones or drama like it did with Reed. Sam and I were just two kids looking for some fun on a Saturday night. It was nice and normal. I couldn’t deny there was a part of me that liked the idea of normal. Normal was safe and less messy than the alternative. It occurred to me a bit too late that there was a chance I’d see Reed at Lula’s tonight. If I did, I wasn’t sure how I’d handle it.

  “So what band is playing tonight? Anybody I’d know?” The chance was pretty remote. I was hundreds of miles from home, but I heard that a few of the bands that I used to
go see on campus regularly traveled along the East Coast playing gigs.

  “The band is called Alley Raiders,” Sam said. “It’s just a bunch of local guys that were a couple years ahead of me in school. They used to do all the school dances, and after they graduated Lula gave them a regular gig, except on the nights that she somehow manages to get a name band to come out here. I’m sure it’s shocking, but Bleckerville isn’t the most desirable place to play a gig. You’d have to be pretty desperate in my opinion.”

  “They any good?”

  “Surprisingly so,” Sam said.

  We cruised onto Main Street, and I was struck again about how much it resembled a ghost town late at night. Sam rolled his window down, and I heard the music before we even rounded the corner that brought Lula’s into view. Suddenly it made sense why I got the low down on Sam’s friends before we got to the bar. I had a feeling I was going to be deaf in the morning.

  Sam pulled the car into Bud’s parking lot instead of Lula’s, and I immediately saw why. Lula’s parking lot was packed. I even saw cars parked along the highway stretching out in the direction of the town hall.

  “Is it always this busy? I don’t remember it being like this last Saturday night.”

  “You left really early,” Sam said with a chuckle. “Lula’s doesn’t start rocking until the band does which is usually around ten.”

  As I exited the car, I felt a wave of anxiety. I thought it was possible for me to go out, have a drink, dance a little bit, and not make an ass of myself, but it had been a long time. Normal people did it all the time, and I was a normal person now. I could handle it.

  “Something wrong?” Sam appeared beside me peering down into my face.

  “Just a little nervous about being around so many people I don’t know,” I lied. I wondered how much Sam knew about me and the real reason I was in Bleckerville. Patrice hadn’t been very forthcoming on the reason she told the staff that I was staying with her at the Willoughby this summer. On the off chance that he didn’t know anything about it, I wanted to keep it that way.