Becoming the Alpha Read online

“I know. That’s what I’m saying. I am going to be inside the tent.”

  “How?” He still hadn’t looked back up at me.

  I let the bomb drop. “Lukas invited me.”

  Dad’s fingertips swishing across his keyboard stilled. “Lukas Kasper invited you to attend the Summit’s opening gala?” That was one habit of my dad’s that I absolutely detested. He’d insist on saying everything I said back to me as if he expected to trip me up on some part of it.

  “That’s right,” I said.

  “As in his date?”

  This was the part of the explanation where things got hairy. I didn’t want to lie to my dad, but there was no way that I could tell him the whole truth either. He’d think that I was crazy. I wasn’t sure what I wasn’t yet. He’d accuse me of following along with whatever scheme Lukas had cooked up just like I always did, and he’d pretty much be right. I hated ever admitting my dad was right.

  “He’s pitched me the idea of doing some work documenting the clan’s history.” I figured it was easiest to stick with the story that the entire clan had heard for consistency’s sake. Now that I had told Lukas I wasn’t going to play along with being his mate, I wasn’t sure how it was all going to go down. I still wasn’t sure that he believed me, or that I believed it myself. Apparently, it would be an ongoing discussion.

  My dad set his laptop down on the floor and sat forward in his chair. He rested his forearms on his knees and looked at me pensively. “I’ve been after Markus Kasper for years to let me do a documentary series on the clan.”

  This situation required a finesse. I didn’t need my dad to see me as competition. “I think that what Lukas is looking for would be something internal for the clan, Dad. Nothing that would be available for public consumption.”

  “If that was the case, why would he ask you do to it?”

  That was an excellent question, and one that I still wasn’t sure that I fully believed. “Lukas said I have the right style. He seems like he has a bit more of an open mind than his brother when it comes to letting someone from the outside in.”

  “Hmm. Well, we’ll have to see about all of that. The sheriff is going to have something to say about it I’m sure, and he might end up being the alpha anyway.”

  “Lukas was declared the alpha this morning,” I said. When I saw the surprised expression on my dad’s face, I realized I had said too much. I should have gone home while I had the chance.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Obviously, I’ve been talking to Lukas,” I said, deflecting the question. “Look, I’ve got to go. I just wanted to check in and let you know that I’ll be there tonight.”

  “What are you going to be able to write that I’ll be able to publish in the paper?” Of course, that’s what my dad was worried about.

  “I don’t know yet. I’ll have to check with Lukas,” I said, putting my hand on the doorknob. I needed to escape before I said anything else that could get me in trouble.

  “Maren.” I paused and looked at my dad. His face had softened. “Be careful, okay? You’re a smart girl, but that boy always made you lose your head. You don’t want to get mixed up in that business again.”

  As if I needed the reminder of the mess Lukas made of my life ten years ago. A decade of experience should have made me smarter, but I felt more like that awkward schoolgirl of my youth than ever. I left the office without saying anything else. I ruminated on his final words all the way back to my house.

  I poured myself a large glass of wine when I got home and stared out the window for what seemed like hours. I went back and forth between wanting to kick myself for telling Lukas no to thinking that I should back out of the deal altogether, story or no story. I felt the weight of my past pressing heavily on my shoulders. I didn’t know what to do.

  So when the knock came on my door as the shadows of the sun fell across the floor, I knew I shouldn’t be surprised. I opened the door to find the object of my frustration standing there with his hands dug deep into his pockets.

  “I told you I’d meet you at your place at six,” I said.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d come back,” he replied with a shrug. “That conversation was far from finished, and you didn’t answer your damn phone. If I was a gambling man, I’d only give myself fifty-fifty odds at best. Am I wrong?”

  I left the door open and retreated inside. I sat back down in my chair and rescued my wine glass from the end table. “What are you doing, Lukas?”

  He stepped inside and closed the door, but he didn’t move any further into the room. “I thought I made all of that clear.”

  “You have to know this is hard for me,” I said. I felt a hot welling of emotion begin to clog my throat. “I am a professional. But when it comes to you, it seems I am still nothing but a mess. I probably shouldn’t be telling you that because you’ll use it against me.”

  “We were always honest with each other,” Lukas said.

  “Were we?” I asked as I looked up at him. “Why did you come over that night after graduation? Did you know that was what was going to happen? Did you plan it that way?”

  He moved to my side and knelt down next to the chair. Even on his knees, his eyes were still even with mine. He took one of my hands in his and gently kneaded the palm. It was as if he knew what to do to calm my nerves.

  “Maren, don’t you think I’ve asked myself that question over and over again during the last ten years? I can tell you honestly there was nothing premeditated about it. I was hurt and angry after my argument with Markus, and I went to the person that I knew could always make me feel better. What happened between us that night was amazing, and I was just beginning to realize that maybe I had missed something in my blind sighted youth when he sent me away.”

  I wanted so badly to believe him. “If that was the case, I don’t understand why you never told me that.”

  “At first, it was because Markus said that I couldn’t,” he replied. His eyes dropped to our joined hands. “Then, as time went on, I knew that you’d probably never forgive me, and the worst part was that I couldn’t blame you. So I stayed away because I couldn’t face you.”

  “Coward,” I whispered.

  There was a long pause. “Maybe so. I’m not going to ask your forgiveness, Maren. At least, not yet. But I am asking you for a chance to start over.”

  “Start over as what?” My heart sped up in my chest, but I couldn’t resist asking the question. Once upon a time, I had been the coward. The result was I ended up with a broken heart. I couldn’t face that fate again. Not without a damn good reason.

  “This.” Lukas pulled my hand up to his lips. They barely touched the top of my hand, but the effect was immediate as I felt that familiar wildfire begin to spread throughout my body. Then he brushed my hand against the stubble of his cheek. The stark contrast to the softness of his lips was electrifying. Dragging my hand back to his lips, he flipped my hand over to plant a kiss against my palm. His eyes never left mine. “You should be terrified of me. You should be screaming and trying to run as far as you can away from me. Yet when I look into your eyes now, I can see fear, but I don’t think it’s because of what you saw this morning.”

  I shook my head mutely.

  “I am an animal, Maren. Sometimes it feels like I’m about to jump out of my skin, and I am barely keeping control over it. Being back here has made it worse. Being the alpha will drag it back to the surface, and I don’t know that I’ll always be thinking with a clear head. You should be terrified of me.”

  “I was never scared of you physically hurting me, Lukas. I don’t know why. Even watching you in the arena today, I didn’t feel threatened by what you are. But emotionally, you have the power to rip me apart.” There it was, the honest truth of the matter.

  “Believe it or not, you have the same power over me.” His voice had dropped so low that it was hardly more than a rumble that seemed to reverberate through my core. “I knew the first minute I saw you in the hospital last week that wh
atever we started that night wasn’t over. It was just the beginning, and I want to find out where we can go. I shouldn’t have asked you to take on becoming my mate without telling you the whole story. I’m sorry. But I wanted to give you a reason to get to know me again so you could see that I’ve changed.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I felt the genuineness of his words. “What do you want from me, Lukas?” There was my question again because I still didn’t feel like he had given me the right answer.

  “Just a chance to see where this goes. I’d like that very much,” he said. “No pressure. No expectations. Just be with me, and trust me when I say that I’m not going anywhere. I’m in Greyelf to stay.”

  I slid to the front of the cushion as he moved around the seat in front of me. I wasn’t sure who met who in the middle, but I was the one who pulled him into my embrace. He buried his head in the crook of my neck. I heard him sigh deeply, and I smiled. “Okay, Lukas. You win.”

  “I always win,” he said. His words were muffled against my skin.

  I chuckled. “Maybe this time I’ll give you a run for your money.”

  When he began to kiss my neck, I didn’t pull away. There wasn’t any fight left in me. He was right. Something had been started that night, and I wanted to know where it could go too. When his thigh pushed into the crevice between my knees, I opened my legs to him. He moved in closer, and his hands wandered to my hips. He pulled me forward even further, and I tightened my hold around his neck.

  His lips burned a trail up the side of my neck, and I met his lips eagerly when they reached mine. I felt bolder than I ever remembered as I dug my fingers into his hair and pulled him closer to me.

  “Woman, you can’t do this to me,” he growled as he pulled away slightly. “We have somewhere to be in less than two hours.”

  “That seems like plenty of time to me,” I said as I nipped at his lower lip. I let my palms splay flat against his chest and marveled at the hard muscles that I felt rippling beneath his shirt.

  He chuckled as he put his hands on either side of my face and kissed me gently. His lips lingered, and I almost whimpered when he pulled away from me. “Babe, when we really get started, I’m going to want a lot more than just a quickie to tide me over. I’ve got ten years to make up for, and I plan on taking my time.”

  I felt a quiver in my core at the intensity of his words. I fell back in the chair with a groan as I covered my face. “Fine.”

  His fingertips danced along the insides of my thighs, and I almost jumped out of my skin at the ticklish sensations. I batted his hands away. “No fair. You said no more of that right now.”

  “I said I plan on taking my time,” he said with a devilish glint in his eye. “But I think I can make an exception for some things.”

  I didn’t have time to speak before he gripped my hips and pulled me down the chair so that my butt would have fallen off the chair if his hands hadn’t held me steady. I started to protest when his head ducked under my skirt, but then I felt the first brush of his lips against my inner thigh, and I had to bite back a small yelp.

  I felt the wetness between my thighs. It had been a long time since I’d been like this with a man, and this wasn’t just any man. It was Lukas, and there was something about the fact that he wanted to do this for me that stopped my hands from pushing him away. He wanted me to trust him. I wanted to trust him.

  So I leaned back in the chair and gave over to the sensations that had started to build in my core. I gave over to Lukas, just like we both probably always knew that I would.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Lukas must have felt my muscles relax, because suddenly my skirt up was pushed up to bunch around my waist. Our eyes locked as he looked up at me from the juncture of my thighs, and I felt a flush of heat across my cheeks.

  “You don’t ever have to be embarrassed around me, babe,” he said. His voice was low and thick with need. “It’s just me.”

  That was the part that scared me the most, and I bit my lower lip. He winked at me, and then his eyes returned to that most delicate and vulnerable part of me. He gently kissed my inner thighs as he pushed my hips back on the seat just enough so that I teetered right on the edge. Lukas’s fingers continued their exploration of my skin ahead of his lips. When they swept aside the thin fabric of my underwear and grazed that most sensitive part of me, my back arched in response.

  “That’s what I remember,” Lukas whispered. His fingers began to dance up and down, and then I felt his teeth graze my clit, and I gasped. “I want to see you light up for me the way you did that night.”

  I barely heard his words. I was completely distracted by the sensations he was creating with his masterful play of fingers and tongue between my legs. He pushed my legs further apart, and I wiggled my ass so that I had a better grip on the floor. Then his arms came up under my knees, and I felt my lower body sweep up into the air as he found a better angle that opened me up to him even more.

  My hands wove through his hair encouraging him on. I could feel my release building inside my core, and as Lukas pushed a finger into my slick channel, I moaned and shifted trying to help him find that perfect spot. His teeth grazed my clit again, and then he pushed another finger inside of me.

  I was too far gone to think coherent thoughts anymore. As he began to stroke inside of me, I felt his fingers curl to catch the spot that drove me wild. I felt my hips begin to buck, but he held me firmly against his mouth. There was no escaping his insistent tongue and his artful play inside of me that drew my emotions out and forced me to climb.

  “Lukas,” I gasped.

  “Yeah, babe. That’s it,” he said. “Fly for me.”

  I could only do as he commanded. I felt an incredible wave of warmth slide over me, and I closed my eyes and let it carry me away. I didn’t care if I brought the whole town to my doorstep with the sounds of pleasure that I made. It was the most exquisite orgasm that I could remember ever experiencing in my life, and I squeezed my muscles around Lukas’s fingers to keep the sensations going as long as I could.

  When they finally began to settle, I opened my eyes and saw that Lukas was studying me intently. I sighed as I felt the emptiness as his fingers left me. “Wow.” I didn’t know what else to say.

  Lukas pushed his arms up underneath my back and drew me up to him. His lips found mine, and I sighed again at his gentle probing as I tasted myself on his tongue. When he pulled away, he stroked my cheek. “You keep looking at me like that, and I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from taking you right here.”

  “You’re the one that made up that silly rule,” I said with a pout.

  “Trust me, I like nothing better than seeing my woman with a fully satisfied look on her face.” He pulled on my lower lip. “You are utterly beautiful.”

  His sweetness finally broke through my lust filled haze. I wrapped my arms around his chest and set my cheek against his chest. His arms swept around me, and I sat there listening to his heartbeat for several long moments.

  “This doesn’t seem real,” I finally said.

  His fingers wove into my hair, and I felt his lips press against the crown on my head. “It’s real for as long as you want it to be. I promise.”

  I nuzzled against him and enjoyed the moment. Finally, I reluctantly let him go. He slid away from me and stood. He wore a goofy grin that I knew meant he was feeling quite pleased with himself, although I enjoyed the fact that he shifted awkwardly in his stance. His khakis left little to the imagination of his situation.

  “I guess I can wait for that later,” I said, looking pointedly at his crotch. “Thanks for the preview this morning.” Lukas’s expression darkened, and I realized what I had just said. “Shit. That was a stupid thing to say. I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “We should probably talk about all of that at some point. There are things that you should know if we’re going to do this right.”

  “Like clothing has to be optional when you phase back and forth,” I
said, trying to lighten the mood. “I guess I’m going to have to get used to all the women in the clan seeing something that they can look at but can’t touch.”

  Lukas’s eyes twinkled. “Jealous much?”

  “Don’t give me a reason to be,” I said as I lightly hit his arm. “It’s going to take me awhile to get used to this. Us.”

  He pulled me into his arms again. “I like the sound of that. Us.”

  I laughed and pushed up onto my tiptoes. I couldn’t help it. Now that I had Lukas where I wanted him, I had a feeling I was going to want him all the time. Luckily, he seemed more than willing to oblige with long and sultry kisses that made my head spin.

  Two hours later, I approached the large white tent that had been set-up to accommodate the grand gala celebration that marked the beginning of the Summit. I saw the line of paparazzi waiting the required distance from the entrance to photograph each of the invited attendees. I saw my father’s bald head bobbing through the crowd, and I quickly moved toward the back of the tent. I nodded to several of the clan members who were working the security detail there. Lukas told me that they would be expecting me, so I wouldn’t have to walk in front of everyone and be forced to answer questions I wasn’t ready to answer yet.

  It had taken me forever to pick out what I was going to wear to the gala. Lukas joked that he was fine if I wanted to wear a potato sack. I didn’t have anything that I liked well enough in my closet that I felt was ‘gala’ appropriate. I wasn’t going to wear the same dress he had just seen me in the night before. Plus, I still had to make sure there was enough material covering up his mark. Lukas said he was going to tell the council about us in the morning.

  In the end, I was forced to pull out a red dress that had sleeves but a plunging neckline that left little to the imagination. I had bought it on a whim and always intended to return it but never got around to it. When I bought the dress, I was several pounds lighter, but now it fit me like a glove while also making it difficult for me to breathe. Judging by the appreciative looks the security guards gave me though, I hoped that Lukas would be equally pleased.