Where My Heart Breaks Page 4

  “You going to take that to go?” Lula asked, following my gaze.

  “No, I’m staying,” I said. “I heard the band that’s playing tonight was killer.”

  Lula shook her head and sighed. Before she moved away, she turned her head. “I may be talking out of turn. Mrs. Black is a good woman, and Lord knows she had her hands full with those boys. But Reed…that boy is trouble with a capital T, Kate. I don’t think your aunt would approve of you spending too much time with him.”

  Then she walked away, leaving me speechless. My cheeks flamed as I realized that my interest in Reed must be obvious on my face. And if it was that obvious to Lula, there was no way that Reed wouldn’t have picked up on it too. I could hear my mother screeching in my head. I had been in town all of an hour and already I was ready to throw myself into a steaming pot of smoldering trouble by the name of Reed Black. He must have done something pretty horrible to warrant a warning from a woman like Lula.

  “Make that order to go, Lula,” I croaked. It was so not what I wanted to do, but it was the right thing and I knew it.

  I couldn’t believe it when another familiar face popped up at my elbow. “Hey, Kate!”

  I wanted to groan. “Hey, Sam. What are you doing here?”

  “Oh, I’m just grabbing a bite. It’s nice to get away from the Willoughby for a little while. It seems like I’m out there all the time.” Sam sat down next to me without an invitation.

  “You live in town then?” I really didn’t care. Although I kept my eyes downcast, I tracked Reed’s movements through the room.

  “I just rented my first place with a buddy for the summer. It’s on the other side of town,” Sam said. “My parents live just around the corner from here though.”

  “That’s nice,” I said stiffly. When Reed turned, he caught sight of me and my bar mate. It might be my imagination, but I thought that his eyes narrowed for a just a second before he turned back to the conversation. Then I saw a pretty blond who I hadn’t noticed before sidle up to Reed and put her arm on his shoulder. Instantly I wanted to scratch her eyes out.

  “So what do you think of Bleckerville so far?” Sam was oblivious to my annoyance at his presence. With Sam sitting next to me, there was a chance that Reed wouldn’t come back. He might assume that Sam would take me back to the Willoughby. Then I argued with myself that might not be a bad thing. Hadn’t I just been warned that Reed wasn’t the type of guy to get tangled up with?

  As I watched him dip his head to listen to whatever the blond was saying, I knew that had to be part of my attraction to him. The dark parts of him sang to the darker parts of me. It was next to impossible to block out that siren song. Lula’s warning was intended to make me leery of Reed. Instead, she had managed to make him all the more attractive to me. As his head came back up, his eyes caught mine and held them for a long moment before turning away. Oh yeah. I was in trouble.

  With a capital T.

  Sam babbled away about some nonsense that I wasn’t paying attention to when I saw that he had Lula’s book in his hand. I forced myself to concentrate on his words.

  “It is insane how many people come to the Willoughby hoping for some kind of romantic interlude like the one in this book. I am amazed that people pick the Willoughby for their honeymoon location at all. I mean, especially after what happens between Jackson and Camilla in the end. I don’t understand it.”

  “I haven’t read it,” I said. It dawned on me what he said. I swatted him on the arm. “Don’t ruin the ending for me!”

  Sam ducked and brought his hands up laughing. “How was I supposed to know that? I would have thought that was required reading in your family, or at least in your college literary curriculum. Believe me, around here it’s impossible to get away from it.”

  “I was busy with other stuff,” I said. My mind ran through that catalog of activities. Happy Hour. Sweaty makeout sessions in Trevor’s room at the frat house. Beer Pong. House parties. Constant runs to the liquor store. It truly was amazing I ever made it to class at all.

  “So Patrice said that you’re majoring in economics, right?” A drink seemed to appear magically before Sam, and he waved warmly to Lula who gave him a little wink. I had the sense that Sam was the type of guy that Lula approved of. “What are you going to do with that?”

  “I honestly don’t know,” I said. Last fall, I had been on the path of majoring in total college screw-up. My mother picked my major for me freshman year because she thought that a degree in economics would give me a leg up when it came time to get a job after graduation. Truth be told, I hated economics.

  Being reminded of school and my lackluster career prospects was depressing. What was even more depressing was seeing another platinum blond in a form fitting spaghetti strap top join Reed’s group. That one didn’t even bother hiding her interest in Reed’s physique as she grasped his right bicep and pushed herself up onto her toes to whisper in his ear.

  Sam seemed to have finally caught the direction of my longing look. He shook his head. “Man, I don’t know what those girls see in him. I mean, the guy’s bad news. Everybody knows that, and yet every girl in town is ready to jump into his bed as soon as he says the word. And some of them are old enough to be his mother.”

  My brain registered his words, but I played dumb. “What? Who?”

  Sam grimaced. “Reed Black. He’s quite the player around town.”

  “Oh, well I only met him because he changed my tire,” I said, my cheeks burning. “So he gets around, huh?”

  Sam leaned over the bar toward me. “All around. He’s a nice enough guy, but when it comes to women, it’s pretty clear that he’s a use ‘em and lose ‘em kind of guy.”

  Of course. The first guy to interest me in Bleckerville was a player. The old me wouldn’t have let that slow her down for a second because she never backed down from a challenge. But the new me couldn’t get tangled up with a guy like Reed. He’d take me down into the pits of darkness with him, and I’d probably never pull myself back out.

  Lula set a white Styrofoam container in front of me. “Here you go, Kate. Tell your aunt I said hello.”

  I nodded with a plastic smile on my face. “Sam, I hate to be a bother, but do you think that you could run me back out to the Willoughby? My car’s in the shop, and I need a ride.”

  Sam’s face lit up. “Sure thing. I’d be happy to.”

  I didn’t even move away when he put his hand on the small of my back to escort me out of the bar. Even though I couldn’t see Reed, I felt the weight of his eyes on my back. I didn’t even need my mother’s voice in my head to tell me what I already knew. If I really wanted to make a fresh start and get things in order for my senior year, I needed to do myself a favor and forget all about Reed Black.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “No men is a stupid rule,” I said as I threw myself backward on my bed. “Who made up that rule anyway? Does my mother expect me to become a nun? I’m not some virgin teenager.”

  “Rules are good for you,” Millie replied. “When you don’t have rules, you make bad decisions. I submit exhibit A, Trevor Franklin, into evidence.”

  Millie was pre-law and never turned down the chance to throw in cheesy courtroom dialogue. When she wasn’t watching horror movies, she was streaming reruns of Matlock. Usually it made me laugh. Not today. “Don’t feel it necessary to sugarcoat your comments on my account,” I said. I felt very low and very sorry for myself. “I am, after all, just your best friend. Whose feelings can be easily trampled on in my sensitive, vulnerable state.”

  Even though I couldn’t see her, I knew that Millie was rolling her eyes. She never bought into my antics. “Kate, you haven’t even been in Bleckerville for one day. The fact that you’re all hot and bothered by some guy you’ve barely exchanged five words with tells me that you’re on edge. Maybe you should call Dr. Kreger. I know your mother was hard on you, but you gotta admit, you kind of needed it.”

  I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose
. I hated my life at the moment. “I do not need to call Dr. Kreger. I am fine. The only thing I will admit is that I might have gone a little bit overboard last fall. But you’d think I committed murder in the first degree the way that I’ve been treated since Christmas break.”

  “This summer is supposed to be about you proving to your mother that you have your act together,” Millie said soothingly. “Romance and boys and all that other business are nothing but distractions from that. Once you’ve proved to your aunt and your parents how responsible you are, you’ll be able to do whatever you want again.”

  “Who said anything about romance?” I quipped.

  “Kate.” I couldn’t miss the warning note in Millie’s voice. “You used booze and pills to try to fill some void inside of you and Trevor used that weakness against you to take advantage of the situation. You’re lucky you didn’t end up at the bottom of an early grave.”

  I scowled. She was right. I knew that she was right, but the words still stung. “Says you.”

  “Says everyone who knows the real you,” Millie said.

  “I’ve got to go, Millie. I hear my aunt calling my name,” I lied. I hated when Millie got all maternal on me. Millie was no saint, and it irked me when she acted like one. Half of the parties I went to last fall, Millie had been at my side. If I had been smart, I would have left with her at the end of them too. Instead, I clung to Trevor and let him lead me into some places that I wished I could forget.

  “Fine,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  I hung up without saying goodbye. Millie hated when people hung up the phone without closing out the conversation. It gave me a small shot of glee knowing that action would piss her off. It was immature, sure, but I didn’t have a lot of other entertainment options at the moment.

  My head fell to the side, and that’s when I glimpsed my purse spilling its contents out into the chair where I threw it earlier when I got back to the Willoughby. Lula’s book was right on top. I sighed heavily. It was Saturday night. I could be at Lula’s having drinks, dancing, and possibly rubbing up against the chest of Reed Black ensuring that all thoughts of blond bimbos were left by the wayside. Instead, I was in my room by myself contemplating reading a book. Oh how times change.

  I sat up and maneuvered over to the chaise lounger that sat underneath the window. I grabbed the book and looked out the window. The full moon slowly rose over the tree line and reflected in the water of the lake below. I saw that lanterns offered a dimly lit, radiant path into the darkness lighting the path leading down to the lake. I decided it was appropriate to read in one of the book’s locations.

  In the book, Jackson had just asked Camilla to take a walk with him along the lake’s shoreline. Five minutes later, I found myself on the sandy beach feeling the gentle breeze as it swept in off the lake and lifted strands of my hair. Off to my left, a small bench was strategically placed to offer a comfortable seat looking out at the lake. A small lantern behind it ensured that I’d be able to read. I settled onto the bench, wondering if I should go back up to the house. This was the kind of spot that was tailor made for lovers. I was also sure that Patrice wouldn’t appreciate it if one of the staff members encroached on spaces meant for guests.

  I looked around to see if anyone else was in sight. Then I realized that no doubt the honeymooners staying at the Willoughby were enjoying other extracurricular evening activities at that moment. I chewed on my bottom lip in frustration.

  “Screw ‘em,” I said under my breath. I popped open the book to where I left off and began to read.

  I had no idea how much time passed as I was absorbed deeper and deeper into Jackson and Camilla’s forbidden romance. The story was set in the 1920s. Jackson was a wealthy industrialist staying at the Willoughby for the summer with his wife, who had taken ill. The doctors had recommended that Jackson take her out of the city to recuperate. Camilla was the daughter of the Willoughby’s owner. The hot summer days wore on, and the forbidden attraction between Jackson and Camilla grew in intensity.

  I was entranced. Anyone with common sense would know that Jackson was a bastard. It shouldn’t have mattered that he married young to someone he barely knew. But that was how Walter Moolen drew the reader in to make Jackson likable and vulnerable beneath his gruff exterior. Camilla, young and inexperienced, didn’t stand a chance once Jackson set his sights on her. I wanted to hate her for being so naive, but instead I found myself rooting for her to win Jackson’s heart.

  I just reached the part where Jackson pulled Camilla into his arms for the first time, intent on declaring his desire for her, when I heard the tumble of rocks behind me. I jumped up, and the scream caught in my chest when Reed stepped into the lantern’s light.

  “What the hell?” I said, my heart pounding wickedly against my rib cage. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

  He put up his hands in mock surrender. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You must have been pretty deep in thought if you didn’t hear me coming.”

  I was torn between chewing him out for interrupting me at such a pivotal plot point in my book, and being thrilled that he was there. Which led me to an obvious question. “What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to make sure you made it home safely,” he said, cocking his head. “Considering you left Lula’s without letting me know you found another ride. You seem to make friends easily.”

  “I’m not the only one,” I retorted, thinking of the two busty blonds hanging on his every word.

  Reed looked surprised. “I told Bud that I’d get you home. I’m just upholding my end of the bargain.”

  I didn’t know what to make of him. One minute he was all bad boy, and the next he was like this, tentative and uncertain. Which one was the real Reed?

  “Obviously I’m fine, safe and sound right where I’m supposed to be,” I said, outstretching my arms to encompass my surroundings. “Sam brought me home hours ago.”

  “Sam’s a good guy,” Reed said, moving closer to me. “A little on the soft side, but dependable and reliable. Trustworthy.”

  “That’s a good kind of guy to have around,” I said faintly. I had to get a grip. I was acting like a silly girl in a romance novel who never laid eyes on a man before. What was it about Reed that drew me in and made my heart beat so fast?

  “Not like a guy like me,” Reed said as if he read my mind. He stopped a foot shy of me. His eyes passed over my shoulder and out to the lake. “I’m sure you heard the warning. Any single woman under the age of forty who sets foot in Bleckerville hears the warning about me as soon as she meets someone like Lula or your Aunt Patrice. I’m a favored topic of town gossip.”

  “What warning is that?” It shocked me that he was putting himself out there like that. I was doing nothing but trying to forget my reputation. Reed seemed intent on bringing his out in the open. His glittering eyes focused back on mine. The intensity in them took my breath away.

  “To stay away. Don’t get involved. That the bad things that happened to me in my youth left me heartless and cruel when it comes to the fairer sex,” he said.

  “Is that true?”

  His hand reached out, and his fingertips pushed a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. “It usually doesn’t matter. Reputations are built on kernels of truth. People might change, but in a town like this, reputations don’t. The only way I’d ever stand a chance of getting away from it would be to leave Bleckerville, which I can’t do.”

  As someone plagued by a reputation that I earned, but didn’t feel like I deserved, I knew exactly what he meant. No matter what I did or said, my parents, my college friends, my teachers, even Millie at times, all still judged me by the person that I used to be. I was the person who let Trevor in and proceeded to let him walk all over me, even when he walked me right to the edge of a metaphorical cliff and left me dangling with no help in sight.

  “I prefer not to judge someone by what other people say about them. I make my own decisions,” I said, raising my c
hin. “All’s I ask is that I get the same consideration.” Remembering his earlier insinuation, I decided to call him out. If we were going to be honest, then we were going to be honest.

  Reed dug his hands into his pockets. “I might have heard a few things about you.”

  “I’m sure you have,” I said. I felt a flash of anger. “Is that why you’re here? To see if the bad girl is as naughty as they say she is? Seems like if you were looking for an easy lay, you could have taken a turn with either of those blond bimbos at the bar.”

  Reed’s expression was unreadable. He leaned in and my breath caught in my throat. “And just like that, you judged me just like everyone else in this shithole town would without even knowing if what they’re saying is true.”

  Then he moved around me. The imaginary bindings around my chest that I didn’t even realize were there loosened. I turned and watched him walk across the sand to the water’s edge. His arm ratcheted back, and then pushed forward and I heard the plop of something dropping into the water.

  I made my way down to stand a few feet away from him. I was ashamed of myself. He was right. So far, he had done nothing to me. He changed my flat tire. He offered me a ride home. He appeared in the moonlight and made no movement toward seduction, which I admit was mildly disappointing. So far, the only person being an ass was me.

  “I guess I deserved that,” I said.

  Reed threw another pebble out into the water. He didn’t look at me. “You did.”

  I wondered again what brought him out to the Willoughby and to me. There had to be a reason. “Let me start over. I didn’t have a chance to thank you for changing my tire earlier today. And thank you for checking on me tonight. You didn’t have to.”

  Reed shook his head. “That’s just what folks around here do.” He paused. “You asked me why I was here.”