Where My Heart Breaks Page 13

  His thumb flew out of my mouth and was replaced by Reed’s lips, and the movement caused me to take a step backwards, hitting my butt against the truck. Reed wasn’t letting me escape though as his hands tucked around my backside and pulled me into him. I melted against him. I met each thrust of his tongue, and I couldn’t hold back the low moans of pleasure that formed in the back of my throat urging him on. I felt the surge of his emotions in his kiss. Loss, anger, and loneliness. I wanted to wipe all of that away. That is what I tried to say back in my kiss in response, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him ravage the inside of my mouth.

  When his lips finally released mine, my breath came in short gasps. A small smile of satisfaction crossed his lips, and I was relieved to see that it didn’t appear as if he were about to run away again. “Ready for a little hike?”

  I was ready for something else entirely, but I could be patient. I basked in the fact that I was with Reed and that he looked at ease and relaxed despite the fact that we were just lip locked in a much friendlier way than he said he wanted. I wasn’t complaining one bit.

  I didn’t quite trust my voice or my ability to walk at the moment, so I nodded instead. Reed reached into the truck bed, and I had my second surprise of the evening. He pulled out a picnic basket, and then had to have seen the look on my face.

  "It's not what it looks like," he said with a sheepish grin.

  "What does it look like?" Two competing trains of thought ran through my mind.

  "I'm not trying to recreate the scene from the book. I promise." He raised one hand with two fingers up in a scout's honor.

  "Oh good, because I think at least a few people would take issue with me turning up dead." I realized as soon as the words were out of my mouth that my nonchalant quip struck the wrong chord with Reed. I didn't know what happened with his friend Isabelle, but it wasn't hard to figure out that it was bad. Leave it to me to say something dumb and throw a handful of salt on the wound. "I'm sorry. That was a really insensitive thing to say."

  Reed avoided my eyes, but I could tell that he wanted to chuck the picnic basket back into the truck. "It's okay. I just figured you hadn't had dinner yet. It's a little bit of a hike to the point, but the view's worth it. It's quiet and secluded there, and so I thought we'd stay awhile."

  It sounded like exactly the kind of place I'd like to stay with Reed awhile. "That sounds perfect. Do you need me to carry anything?"

  Reed set the basket down and reached back into the truck bed again. The crisis seemed to be averted for the moment. Hopefully I'd be able to keep my mouth from saying any other idiotic thing running around in my brain and it would stay that way. Two blankets appeared in Reed's hands, and he offered them to me. I grew more intrigued with this interlude by the minute.

  He led the way from the parking lot to a small path. It was only wide enough to walk single file, so I followed behind him grateful that I decided on sneakers instead of my usual wedge sandals. Otherwise, there was a good chance I would have twisted an ankle, or worse.

  "So I bet this spot is popular with the tourists," I said. "What about the locals?"

  "Mostly just kids come out here," Reed said, his voice floating back to me as he ducked beneath a tree limb that seemed to appear out of nowhere. "It used to be a favorite swimming hole, but that was shot to hell once the book came out. It's quieter now, but you never know when a caravan of cars is going to show up and disrupt the peace, so most people still stay away."

  Damn. I was hoping that Reed's intentions were to take advantage of the secluded spot that held such dramatic romance and tragedy all in one. But if people popped up unannounced all the time, that seemed less likely to be his plan. I kept forgetting that all along it was supposed to be my plan. For some reason, I was holding out hope that Reed would get over whatever conflicted sentiment he had about getting close to me and just let me in. I wasn’t afraid of him or his past, which I thought was causing his issue. I wanted the chance to prove him wrong.

  "I didn't see any other cars in the parking lot," I said hopefully.

  "Probably less likely to run into anyone out here on a Sunday night, but you never know. The diehards will come no matter what time of day it is."

  "You sound as if you're speaking from experience." I did wonder how many girls Reed brought there. It seemed like the perfect place for a seduction, especially if you added the allure of Moolen's story on top of it. I had to give Moolen credit, for a guy he wrote a hell of a love story.

  "There's a lot that people assume about me," Reed replied. He sounded sad.

  I was going to reach out to stop him when the path suddenly opened up to the blue afternoon sky, and I gaped. The scene before me was incredible. About a hundred yards ahead of me, a tall rock wall climbed toward the sky, and I had to crane my neck to see the top. Off to my left, the bubbling water made its way out to the lake that ran beneath the bluff. I could barely see the dots of houses, spaced far apart, on the other side of the lake.

  It was exactly like the image that Walter Moolen painted in the book, but it was so much more. In my mind, I could see Jackson walking down the same path with his picnic basket, and then finding Camilla, the love of his life, standing there at the water's edge staring into the sunset. Jackson intended to eventually tell her that they couldn't be together, but seeing her profile lit up by the setting sun, he realized that he would never see a more beautiful sight in his entire life. He couldn't let her go. He had to make her his forever, no matter what it cost in terms of his fortune or reputation.

  "What do you think?" Reed's words broke through, and the phantom figures that I envisioned before me disappeared.

  "I can see why he used this location in the book," I said in a hushed tone. "It is exquisite."

  Reed's hand settled on my elbow, and he pulled me to him. We stood toe to toe as he stared down into my eyes, pining my soul deep within me. "You are exquisite."

  I felt the blossom of heat across my cheeks. "I'm not anything. Just a girl who is trying to make up for some really bad decisions."

  He swept a piece of my hair back behind my ear. The gentle touch made me want more. I would take whatever he would give me. I told myself that I didn't care if he broke my heart. I wanted him so badly that I had to bite my tongue from saying something stupid that would give my feelings away. If he knew the depth of my longing for him, he'd run the other way as fast as he could. After watching him do it twice already, I knew that I had to take it slow and let it develop on its own.

  "They really did a number on you, didn't they?"

  "Who?" His question confused me.

  "Your parents. That guy. Your aunt. That school. Probably your friends too. Somewhere along the way, you've been convinced that you are broken and unworthy. They obviously don't see what I see."

  His eyes pierced mine, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I couldn't remember ever having anyone look at me the way that Reed was looking at me in that moment. It was as if he could read the very core of my soul. I felt naked and vulnerable beneath that stare. If he rejected me now, I didn't know how I'd manage to get up in the morning and ever try to pretend it didn't happen. He saw me. I knew it without a doubt.

  "What do you see?" I wanted to hear the words out loud so that there was no mistake. Once given a voice, then he couldn't pretend that there wasn't something between us. Something that was too strong and powerful to deny.

  "I see a woman who deserves every happiness. I see a woman who is strong and confident and smart. That woman may have lost her way for a little while, but that doesn't mean that she's any less of the person that I think she has always been. It's just part of growing up."

  His words were spoken so honestly and with such certainty that I found myself wanting to believe him. If he could see that, why couldn't I?

  "How can you be so sure?"

  Reed's palm swept across my cheek and came to rest on my chin. He grasped it as if he was afraid that I was going to look away. As painful as it was f
or me to consider that his words were not true, I couldn't tear my eyes away even if I tried. I felt as if I was on the verge of something crucially important. I didn't want to miss it.

  "I know because it would take an extraordinary woman to convince me that I want something I haven’t wanted in a very long time. That's how I feel when I'm with you."

  My mouth fell open. Never had I felt as close to a man as I felt to Reed. He was exposing those darker places of himself to me as well, and it was like by doing so, we were both being granted some kind of karmic redemption. When he tugged my hands to pull me into his arms, I went willingly. I wrapped my arms around his waist and felt him squeeze me tightly. Fiercely. I felt a sense of belonging that was strange and wonderful and right.

  I felt the poke of his chin against the top of my head. "I'm fighting a losing battle, Kate. I’m waving the white flag of surrender. So that just leaves one question for me."

  I looked up at him with a questioning glance. I thought I had been more than clear about what I wanted, but he still seemed to hesitate. "What?"

  "I lied. I want to be more than friends. I want to kiss you and touch you while you moan and cry out my name. I want to be the man who brings you the most pleasure you've ever had in your life. I want to be the one you think about when you go to sleep at night. My question is, can you forgive me for being such an idiot for pushing you away?"

  I thought my heart was going to burst. I stood on my tiptoes so that my lips were just millimeters away from his. His eyes blazed, and I heard his sharp inhale of breath as he waited for my answer.

  "I think I can be convinced," I said with a small grin.

  Reed's lips crushed mine, and I let the feelings we had both been keeping at bay carry me away.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  However I pictured it in my head, having Reed’s hands roaming my body was a million times better. The denim jacket slid off my shoulders with little protest, and I felt the heat of Reed’s body absorbed into my skin. The sun had nothing on him. I felt as if I lost all ability to breathe. I was drowning. Drowning in Reed’s kisses and the interplay of our tongues as we took turns learning the contours of each other’s lips.

  When he pulled away, I sighed. I loved the feel of his body pressed against mine. His eyes twinkled, and I could see that he wanted me. My eyes followed his every move as he knelt down to pick up one of the blankets that I had dropped onto the ground. His gaze didn’t leave mine as he unfolded the blanket and then swept it up to pad a small area of grass.

  Then he put his hands on my hips, his nose even with my navel. He kneaded the fabric of my dress, and there was a crazy part of me that wanted to rip the dress off, but Reed seemed intent on taking things slow. I had no doubt of what he was going to do now. There was no way you kiss somebody like that and then walk away.

  Reed’s eyes broke away from mine as his hands skimmed their way down my hips to my bare legs all the way to my ankles. Then his fingertips swept back up to my knees and back down. “You have killer legs,” he said in a low voice that sounded as if it were tightly controlled. “When I passed you on the side of the road that day, that’s what I remember seeing first. Miles of legs in a pair of heels that made me want them wrapped around my waist. All I could think about was that if I didn’t stop to help you, some other creep would. That thought drove me crazy.”

  I had no idea that Reed had the same kind of visceral, raw reaction to seeing me for the first time that I did the first time I saw him. “You could have at least stuck around long to ask my name,” I whispered.

  I gasped as his hands slid beneath my skirt and between my thighs stopping just short of the place of my body that throbbed for him. He pushed my legs open further, allowing him better access. I couldn’t believe that this gorgeous man was on his knees at my feet, and if I were to guess the intention of where his fingers were going next, he was about to blow my mind. Every place he touched me burned, and my eyes closed as he reached around and grasped the bottom curve of my backside, pulling me closer to him.

  He buried his nose in the fabric at my belly button and even through the cloth I could feel the pressure of his teeth as he nipped at that sensitive area. I wanted his mouth on my bare skin. I wanted his lips everywhere. I hoped he didn’t make me beg.

  His heavy sigh caught my attention and even though his hands were still caressing my bottom, I looked down to find him looking up at me with an intense stare.

  “You deserve somebody better than me. Anybody with a lick of common sense could see that. That’s why I didn’t ask your name.”

  I didn’t understand why he couldn’t see in himself what I saw in him. The vision he painted of me with his words was so far from the truth, but I could tell that he believed them. Which made me wonder if maybe I should believe it too. I put my hand on the side of his face, and he turned his cheek into it. He was so hard and guarded, but when the walls came down, he was vulnerable. Just like me.

  I fell to my knees and tried to tell him with my kisses and my lips how his words moved something deep inside of me. I was terrified, but I wanted to feel the way he made me feel forever. His arms crushed me against his chest as he answered me and then he pulled me down onto the blanket and rolled me onto my back. His fingertips stroked the skin of my cheek and danced across my collarbone. Then they found the stiffened pinpoints pressing through the fabric of my top, and I squirmed against him and sighed.

  “I love how you react to my touch,” Reed growled against my ear. He pressed the length of his body against me, and I felt the hardness of his arousal. My mouth went dry. When his hand slipped inside my top to tease my hardened nipples, I felt as if my body was on fire. I was embarrassed by the whimper that escaped my lips then. I wanted him. No, I needed him.

  Sensing that I was reaching the end of my tenuous hold on self-control, Reed pushed himself up on his elbow. His expression was serious. “Are you sure about this, Kate? There’s still time to stop.”

  How could he even question it? A small spark of anger caused me to sit up and then I pushed his shoulders so that he rolled onto his back. I straddled him and made sure that as I settled against him, the only thing between us where his jeans and the wisp of fabric that some designer thought to call underwear. I saw his eyes widen when our bodies came into contact. Two could play at the teasing game, and I intended that, at the end, there would be no doubt in Reed’s mind what I wanted. He started to sit up, but I pushed his shoulders back down and shook my head.

  “No way. I’m in control now,” I said.

  “Oh really?” Reed cocked an eyebrow.

  Instead of answering, I slowly circled my hips. I was rewarded by his low groan and a flush of desire and power coursed through me. I put the palms of my hands against his chest. I could feel his rapid heartbeat, and it gave me the encouragement I needed to continue. I moved my hips again, but this time a little bit harder and faster. Each swivel of my hips seemed to strip away another ounce of Reed’s self-control. His hands came up and grasped my hips, but I grabbed them and pushed them up over his head, bringing my mouth close to his. As I rocked against his hard length, I kissed him deeply. When he pushed his tongue back into my mouth, I didn’t resist. Then his head fell back, and his throaty chuckle floated in the air.

  “I had no idea I was luring a wildcat into my bed.”

  “Maybe that’s because I was the one luring you,” I whispered against his neck as I nibbled the sensitive area there.

  Apparently that broke the last of Reed’s self-control because he overpowered me and sat up wrapping an arm around me. With his other hand, his fist yanked the front of my top down to my waist and then his hot mouth and searching tongue found my nipple. I forgot about being angry at his Neanderthal need to be in control. What he was doing felt too damn good.

  “Take off your panties,” he growled.

  I slid off him without protest and did what he asked. It didn’t escape my notice that they were soaked. Reed pushed up his hips and started to undo the front
of his jeans. I couldn’t resist jumping in to help him as he kissed me again.

  “I want to get you naked, but we can’t here. In case someone comes,” he said.

  I understood. Being exposed, out in the open with the possibility of being caught, made the whole thing all the more exciting. I reached down and marveled at Reed’s hard, long length. I couldn’t wait to have him inside me. The urge to climb on top of him again was slowed only by his quick fingers putting on a condom that seemed to appear out of thin air.

  Then I stood and stepped in front of him. His hands found my hips, and he guided me down and onto his shaft. I gasped at the sensation as I felt him fill me to the hilt. He didn’t move as our eyes locked.

  “Christ, you are so wet,” Reed growled. Then his hips rocked, and as his thrusts began in urgency, I grabbed onto his shoulders and matched his rhythm. We stared into each other’s eyes as our hips pulsed against each other. It didn’t take long before I felt the tightness that had been building inside me ever since the first time Reed kissed me begin to unwind.

  I closed my eyes.

  “Keep your eyes open, gorgeous. I want to see everything you’re feeling,” Reed commanded.

  There was something so vulnerable about that level of intimacy as if the fact that he filled me so completely wasn’t enough. I did as he asked and then one of his hands gripped a fistful of my hair keeping my head steady. I couldn’t escape him. I would never have been able to escape him, but I didn’t want to.

  Those were the thoughts that skittered at the edge of my mind as I felt the waves of pleasure crash over me and then carry me away. I cried out as Reed stiffened and then with one final thrust he groaned as well. Then his mouth covered mine, possessive and insistent.

  He wrapped his arms tightly around me and pulled me closer. I could see that he had felt something in that moment too. There was no going back to the friend zone for me. I ducked my head against his shoulder, afraid that he would see that truth in my eyes and that he wouldn’t be able to handle it. I had to keep my feelings for Reed to myself until I knew how he really felt about me.